Maybe it's just me, but does anyone else find it extremely difficult to make healthy choices when it concerns themselves? It seems that I usually end up sacrificing my own sanity so that the majority can benefit. Even worse, in some situations the "majority" is only one person! Perhaps we overestimate ourselves? Perhaps we underestimate ourselves? I'm trying to figure out if this is an effect of being too overconfident in ourselves, thinking we are able to handle losing our sanity; or if we put our needs second because we don't think they deserve validation.
I know that sometimes I think that if I have to give up something to make someone else happy, then whatever I gave up will be worth it. But sometimes people aren't made happy by what I gave up. They aren't upset, but they aren't at the happiness level that would compensate for whatever I gave up. And there is nothing wrong with them not being made happy by something I do. There is, however, something wrong with me gambling my stability on someone else's reaction. To explain better, no one can control how another person will react to a situation. Yes, some situations may have higher likelihood of yielding a positive or negative reaction. But, ultimately, no one can always preform an experiment where the action of one produces the reaction they were looking for. So, what it comes down to is understanding your limits. If a large part of your foundation must be given to make someone else's building one you can lean on, is it worth it? Risking your own stability to possibly make someone's better? This seems too risky for me. On the contrary, you may need to give a smaller part of your foundation to help someone else's building. In this case, you are not risking your stability for another; instead, you are helping someone else while maintaining your own solid foundation. The problem lies in you having to determine what size chunk of your foundation is needed in the various situation. I've enlisted time as my discerning force, meaning over time I have made plenty of mistakes in effectively proportioning my giving so that I am now able to better size out my giving. This may not be the most efficient route. So to make better use of your time I recommend learning from those around you. Observe people know themselves well enough to understand how much of themselves they are willing to give to others. Then take your findings and apply them to your own life and watch your foundation strengthen. So, take care of yourself because your well-being is far too important to be gambled on unpredictable human reaction.
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AuthorLife enthusiast, tea addict, Winnie the Pooh admirer who is hopelessly pursuing happiness by any and all means. Archives
April 2020
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