It is so easy to run back to things that make you feel comfortable when you’re bored or sad or you just want to feel something. But, I am learning that comfortable is not always the best.
For countless years I have sold myself short because I continually ran back to toxic people to find some sort of comfort in troubling. If I had a bad day I sought encouragement or pity; if I was bored I talked to them because they would most likely disappoint me enough so that I would actually feel something; if I did not really like myself that day I looked for some immediate validation; if there was something missing from my life, my instinct was to have toxicity somehow fill the hole. Soon enough I would learn that trying to fill a hole with something toxic only enlarges it. And by soon enough I mean tonight. Unfortunately, people are not the only form toxic takes: toxicity can be found in behaviours as well. Perhaps what you run back to in hopes of finding some deranged comfort is an unhealthy behaviour. But no matter how many seemingly quick fixes you get after performing such behavior, in the long run you will never be satisfied. And as times goes on, the behaviour will only become more prevalent in until it rules your life. So, although it may help in the moment, relying on unhealthy behaviours to fix yourself will only provide a temporary fix to a growing internal problem. Life is full of crossroads-- a moment where you are caught between two choices. Tonight my road were either run back to a known toxic person to try find some comfort in the fact that they would most definitely disappoint me, or I could choose to better myself. Obviously, my post makes it clear that I chose the latter. And after taking the wrong road so many times and ending up distraught an hour after talking with them, it feels amazing to finally have made the right choice. Tonight I am focused on me helping me fill my own holes. Instead of pouring toxic waste to fill the holes, I made the conscious effort to spare myself the long run misery (I experienced far too long) and help myself. And I encourage you all to do the same. Make the choice to save yourself from the toxins because you are worth more than that. Remember, it is so easy to run back; it is not easy to move forward. But it is always worth the extra effort.
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Over the years, I have accumulated some of the greatest friends a girl could have. And because of them I am blessed with an overall great life. Yes, sometimes small bad things cloud up my vision and make it seem like life sucks, but it doesn't; I have to give credit to the great people around me for this lack of suckiness in my life. They have taught me lessons that completely changed my perspective of life and how I was/am living. Here are a few of the most impactful lessons:
1. You can't fix everyone. 2. But it's okay to want to fix yourself. 3. Pain is inevitable, suffering is not. Bad things are bound to happen-- death, heartbreak, lies, disappointment-- and you may feel hurt during these things. But just because you are hurting does not mean you must suffer. You can go out with friends, paint by yourself, go for a walk when you're hurt so that you do not need to suffer. 4. Make everything fun. Find some fun in everything you do to make life more enjoyable. 5. Laugh at everything you think is even slightly funny. 6. Sometimes it's just timing. When things don't work it is not always something someone did or said, sometimes things didn't work out because of where you are in your life. 7. Feelings are uncontrollable and unreasonable, so accept you have them and move on. 8. Your well-being should be above pleasing other./ Don't lose yourself to gain someone else. 9. People don't belong in boxes, so don't put yourself or anyone else in them. Occasionally we give ourselves and other titles that run our lives. For example if you say you're depressed that may prevent you from enjoying some things in life, or if you only see yourself as an athlete you may never try the arts. We are fluid creatures who should not be confined to a title we or others give us. 10. Moderation is key in all aspects of life. 11. Challenge your mind./Better yourself. 12. Low expectations, high rewards. If you go into something not expecting anything, when something good happens you will be happy no matter how big or small the good thing is. And if nothing amazing happens you will be fine because you did not have your heart set on something great happening. So basically when you remove expectations, you end up with either contentment or happiness! 13. They're just not that into you, move on. We all hate to hear this, but sometimes people don't like you and you can't do anything about that. So instead of wasting time trying to make them like you, it's best to move on. 14. You deserve to and will be loved. 15. The past is in the past for a reason. 16. To forgive others, you must first forgive yourself. It's like trying to clean someone else's wound when you're bleeding-- you will only make both wounds worse. Step one should always be getting yourself right before moving onto other things. 17. Cut out toxic people. 18. The world is beautiful place to be explored. 19. Everyone needs alone time./Be patient with people. 20. It's cool to care. Talk about issues that bother you! Take action to help stop or start things you believe in! Why? Because your beliefs are important and should be fought for. A majority of these were not literally said to me; instead, many of my friends' actions illustrate these lessons which is a lesson-- actions speak louder than words (sometimes). |
AuthorLife enthusiast, tea addict, Winnie the Pooh admirer who is hopelessly pursuing happiness by any and all means. Archives
April 2020
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