We all have those friends that we can see everyday, spend countless hours with, and still be unaware of what's happening in their life. This is not entirely bad. Sometimes it's nice to not talk about things, live in the moment you know? Sometimes it's just nice to escape life when you're with friends. But with this comes the certain obscurity that you can be best friends with someone and not really know them?
This thought recently entered my brain surprisingly not because of something going on in my life, but the fact that I didn't know what a close friend of mine wanted to do in college. My mom actually was the one who asked me what the said friend wanted to do. To her and my astonishment, I was unaware of what they wanted to do. In the moment I was a bit concerned because I spend so much time with them, but had no idea how they wanted to spend the rest of their life! So after stumbling upon this realization, I-as always-began analyzing the other friendships I participate in to see if this "trend" would reveal itself elsewhere. The others I analyzed had a similar outcome; I didn't really know them on a below surface level. Perhaps I'm the only one who noticed this or does this. Perhaps I'm not... Of course, I would never stop at just noting a peculiarity; I began to question why this happens. Is it a matter of us getting too caught up in ourselves to notice the lives of those close to us( the lives of others can enhance your own life)? Is it the fast paced life many of us struggle through that lessens our knowledge of others(you can always make time for those who really matter)? Is it fear of rejection upon posing a personal question to your friend(if they asked you a personal question wouldn't you respond, why wouldn't they)? Is it laziness, where we don't want to put the effort to get involved in peoples' lives who are close to us(they're totally worth the extra effort)? No one asks me, why would I ask them (maybe they're thinking the same thing)? The ambiguous answer is "it really depends on your personal relationship with the person". Love ambiguity (not really). So after failing to find a specific reason why, I decided instead of trying to figure out why this happens maybe I should just stop it from happening and start inquiring more about my friends' lives. So if you're in the same boat with me and realized you can't name your close friends' favorite book or poem, how they like there coffee, if they even like coffee, what their favorite hobby is and why, their best and worst childhood memory, or any other interest they are pursuing, I strongly suggest you inquire. I did and I have found people are cool and people you choose to spend lots of time with are even cooler. So be the first to initiate a deeper friendship. Be the first to ask them out of the blue what they're thinking, what they want to be, what they value most in life, what the meaning of life is to to them. It will mean the world to them just like it would mean the world to you. Like I said before, these people you are choosing to spend time with are super interesting and getting to truly know them makes life a whole lot better. :) Feel free to email me at [email protected] to talk about your life!
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AuthorLife enthusiast, tea addict, Winnie the Pooh admirer who is hopelessly pursuing happiness by any and all means. Archives
April 2020
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